May 2, 2015
***
I was out of town visiting my
family when I learned that Merna had fallen and broken her hip. Sadness washed
over me. My first thought was, “She was doing so well!” The previous Sunday,
family and friends had visited her at Renvilla to celebrate her 85th
birthday. She felt strong enough to attend our communion service that afternoon
in the nursing home chapel. It was a good day.
Now she needed surgery, but she was too fragile. And Merna, who had
suffered with Parkinson’s disease for years, had expressed the desire to go
home to be with the Lord. She was ready.
Since my return flight would not be for another 3 or 4 days, I worried
that I might not make it back in time to say goodbye. I wanted to be there to
comfort and support the family during her last days and moments with them. I
shouldn’t have worried. I should have just trusted the Lord--that He had a
plan. There would be time for all of our goodbyes. I was able to visit and pray
with her and her family on several occasions. Once, I saw her smile and kick
her feet under the covers when I whispered something silly in her ear. And I
could tell she knew who I was. With two family members nearby, Merna died
gently and peacefully in her sleep early Tuesday morning.
She had lived at Meadows, the senior apartments, since about a year
after her husband, Dick, of 54 years passed away in 2002. More recently, she
had moved to Renvilla where she could receive more direct nursing care. She was
only able to attend worship services a few times at Ebenezer since I have been
the pastor here. Each time, it was for a youth program at Christmas or Easter,
when two of her great-grandchildren, Trent and Katelyn, had speaking parts.
That she came to church at all, with all her health challenges and difficulty
getting around, was a testimony to her faith, and her great love for her family
and her sisters and brothers in the Lord.
If Merna had been well enough to talk to me on the phone after her fall,
she would have encouraged me not to worry about her or rush back. She would
have said, “Spend time with your parents!” She would have asked me how my Dad
was feeling because she knew he had been ill. And she would have said, as she
often did, “Get some rest and take care of yourself. We don’t want you getting
sick!” This was Merna--having grace and concern for others.
I never left Merna’s room without feeling loved and appreciated, though
I had visited her to make sure she
felt loved and valued by God and her church. Merna’s family visited almost
every day, but I knew she was still lonesome, at times, homesick for her farm
and family, especially in the late afternoon, as the sun went down. I was happy
to hear that Merna found comfort in my sermons, which Melvin Bakker brought to
her in hard copy each week. I was even pleased to hear that if Merna were
feeling especially emotional or agitated, her son, Rick, would read her one of
my messages. Sure enough, she would fall asleep. J
Merna feared she would become a burden as her health grew more fragile.
She didn’t want people to fuss over her or put themselves out to help her. It
wasn’t pride; she just felt that she should be the one caring for and helping
others. That was her calling in life.
A couple of years ago, we featured Merna in our church newsletter in a
column called, “Member Spotlight.” Interviewing her for the article, I asked
her about her service to the church. She said that she liked to work with the
women in the kitchen in the church basement. She quipped, “I wonder sometimes
how they get along without me!” She remembered Easter pageants, Mission Fests,
and making Kool-Aid and cookies for kids during the 2 weeklong Bible school every
summer. She recalled “picnics of all kinds.” “Always a picnic,” she said.
“Always something to eat.”
I asked her about hobbies. “Hobbies?!” she said. “Who had time for
hobbies?! I worked.”
In addition to milking cows; caring for Dick, Phyllis, Ellen, David,
Rick and Jean; and helping to care for chickens and pigs, this tiny lady hauled
grain. If you asked how she lost the tip of her finger, she would have shared
with you a story. She was loading the grain trailer with her son, Rick, one day
and didn’t get her hand away quickly enough when the door slammed down. On the
car ride to the hospital she was more concerned about the wellbeing of her
driver--her daughter-in-law Cathie--than her hand. Cathie says Merna kept
asking her the whole way to the hospital, “How are you doing?”
When asked about her favorite memories, Merna talked about the church’s
100th anniversary celebration in 2006. “We went all out,” she said.
“Tables set up outside. Sophie Abbas and Laurel Dikken played the organ.” We talked about her many years of involvement
with “Ladies Aid,” now “Presbyterian Women.” She had served as president of
Ladies Aid, she said with a twinkle in her eye. Others remember her gifts of
hospitality and encouragement. Alice Beekman, who joined the church after she
married Lawrence in December 1958, recalls how welcoming Merna was to her, how
she picked her up and drove her to her first Ladies Aid meeting, probably in
January 1959. And how one time, when she was helping to serve dessert with
Ladies Aid, Alice forgot to bring the ice cream. Merna put her arm around her
and told her not to worry about it, that everything would be OK. She was right,
of course!
If you visited Merna’s kitchen while she was living on the farm, she
would offer you a delicious, home-cooked meal or a snack, such as freshly
popped popcorn or her favorite, Rice Krispie Treats. You probably saw her many
photos and read the many newspaper clippings that she posted on her
refrigerator. Stories to make you smile or chuckle. Words that rang true
for her. Her daughter, Jean, gave me one of these little clippings, yellowed
with age, that she had saved from Merna’s collection. This is a letter to Ann
Landers from a reader in Gary, Indiana.
“Dear Ann: My grandmother didn’t go to school but she was very wise.
Before she died 60 years ago, she handed me a slip of paper with ‘all the
advice you’ll ever need to have a good life.’ Here’s what she wrote: “Wash
what is dirty. Water what is dry. Heal what is wounded. Warm what is cold.
Guide what goes off the road. Love people who are least lovable because they
need it the most.”
When I read this passage in Matthew chapter 6, I think of Merna. She
would want us who are gathered to worship the Lord and honor her life to hear
this passage. Friends, the Lord is telling us that he doesn’t want us to worry
about anything. He is commanding us not to worry! God will provide for all our
needs.
Jesus says, “You see all these birds flying overhead? They don’t work at
all. They don’t sow; they don’t reap. Yet, God feeds them! You are so much more
valuable to the Lord than the birds! And now, do you see the lilies in the
field? They don’t work, either. They don’t toil; they don’t spin. And look how
beautiful they are! God takes care of them, too. Even Solomon in all his glory
was not clothed as fine as these! But you, even you who have so little faith!
You are so much more valuable to the Lord than lilies! God WILL take care of
you!”
Merna would want everyone to leave today’s service knowing God’s love
for them. And that you are valuable to Him, no matter your age, or what you can
or cannot do. What is important is believing on the Lord Jesus Christ, that His
grace is sufficient for all your sins, and seeking to live by God’s Word and walk
in Christ’s loving ways. Brothers and sisters, be kind to one another! Encourage
one another! Have grace for one another. Forgive one another! Reach out to help
people in need, even those who may be hard to love. This is what it means to,
“Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness.” And God WILL take care
of you!”
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