“Counting Our Days”

Meditation on Psalm 90

Pastor Karen Crawford

“A Prayer of Moses, the man of God.
Lord, you have been our dwelling-place in all generations. 
Before the mountains were brought forth,
   or ever you had formed the earth and the world,
   from everlasting to everlasting you are God. 
You turn us back to dust, and say, ‘Turn back, you mortals.’ 
For a thousand years in your sight are like yesterday when it is past,
   or like a watch in the night. 
You sweep them away; they are like a dream, like grass that is renewed in the morning; 
in the morning it flourishes and is renewed;
   in the evening it fades and withers. 
For we are consumed by your anger;
   by your wrath we are overwhelmed. 
You have set our iniquities before you,
   our secret sins in the light of your countenance. 
For all our days pass away under your wrath;
   our years come to an end like a sigh. 
The days of our life are seventy years, or perhaps eighty, if we are strong;
even then their span is only toil and trouble;
   they are soon gone, and we fly away. 
Who considers the power of your anger?
   Your wrath is as great as the fear that is due to you. 
So teach us to count our days that we may gain a wise heart. 
Turn, O Lord! How long?
   Have compassion on your servants! 
Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love,
   so that we may rejoice and be glad all our days. 
Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
   and for as many years as we have seen evil. 
Let your work be manifest to your servants,
   and your glorious power to their children. 
Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us,
   and prosper for us the work of our hands—
   O prosper the work of our hands!

***

  I watched my dad put on his shoes the other day and look for his blue, button-down sweater as he prepared to go to a doctor’s appointment with my mother. “It seems like all I ever do is go to the doctor,” he said, and sighed.

    Dad, who will be 81 in August, moves more slowly these days. He has numerous health challenges; some that are complications from a fall on a rainy day two months ago. He needs more time and effort to do many of the routine tasks he used to do with ease, without hesitation. He gets discouraged.

      I agreed with Dad – yes, he does seem to go to the doctor a lot. But I was happy, really happy, to see how well he is doing now, compared to my last visit to my parents in Florida—two days after his April fall, when even with the help of a walker, every movement was a struggle. He was in so much pain. He was forgetful, confused, and exhausted. Sometimes he would nod off in the middle of a sentence.

       I worried that my father would not be with us much longer. I prayed. And I began to count the days and give thanks for every one.

***

       It’s too easy to fall into a rut and begin taking for granted God’s gift to us of every day. We may say to the Lord, “Thank you for this day,” without feeling, deep down, truly grateful. If we were completely honest with God, we would say, “Lord, change my life, so that I may have what I want,” instead of asking that God’s desires be ours, and saying, “Please Lord, change my heart. Change me.”

     Psalm 90 urges us to give thanks to God for the Lord’s loving care and provision for us all the time, even on our so-called “bad” days, when nothing seems to be going right and in the months when the bad news keeps coming, threatening to overwhelm you like the waves of the ocean. The death of a loved one. A diagnosis of cancer, Alzheimer’s or other serious health problem. The psalm urges us to begin each day with gratefulness to the God who made us, always loves us and will never leave us. The God who is our “dwelling place for all generations.”  We cannot expect to be happy and healthy all of our days. But we do have the promise of joy and contentment in the midst of our suffering and trials, if we seek God’s help, like the psalmist. He asks the Lord for help not just for himself, but for all God’s people. Two times, he asks the Lord to make them glad or “happy” as the word could be translated, which gives us the sense that the writer and his community are not happy with the life God has given them, a life of “afflictions.” “Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love,” he says, “so that we may rejoice and be glad all our days. Make us glad, for as many days as you have afflicted us and for as many years as we have seen evil.”  We find, in this prayer, reassurance that while our “toil and trouble” may seem to go on forever, they will come to an end, as the psalmist says, “like a sigh.” The writer isn’t referring to a “sigh” of annoyance; he uses the Hebrew word hevel, which means “breath.” (Huh—exhale of breath). The writer is trying to tell us that life is short. But there is hope and promise, for the God who “sweeps away” our days so that they are “like a dream” renews us like grass that flourishes in the morning. With hevel, we hear echoes of Ecclesiastes, which says that all of life is hevel or breath (sometimes translated as vanity or meaningless) “a chasing of the wind.” Hevel is the same word we translate as “Abel,” in the story of Cain and Abel. Abel’s life is tragically cut short, like a “breath.”

    Psalm 90 takes on deeper meaning when we consider the author’s identity and the context. This is the only psalm attributed to Moses, who endured many trials and tribulations, leading a group of unhappy people to wander in the wilderness for 40 years. He also experienced the goodness of God, the miraculous provision of food and water and protection from their enemies with the parting of the Red Sea so Israel may cross on dry land. We can imagine his gratitude as he prays, “O Lord you have been our dwelling place in all generations.” Moses had no earthly home at all! He could only trust that wherever He walked or camped, in whatever circumstances, he was already home. His place of rest and peace is God, who promises to always be with him. Then, when Moses speaks of God’s wrath, we recall how God punishes Moses for his lack of faith by not allowing him to enter the Promise Land. Still, by God’s grace, Moses lives far beyond the 70 or 80 years he mentions as the “usual” lifespan for the “strong.” He dies at the age of 120. Again by God’s mercy and grace, he is honored throughout Scripture for his faithfulness, despite of his sin. This “man of God,” as the psalm introduces him, is humble enough to recognize and confess his own failures and weaknesses—and to seek God’s help, for his own sake, and for the sake of God’s people, as he had throughout their wandering years.

    He asks the Lord, “Teach us to count our days”—to remember how brief they are and that each one is truly God’s gracious gift—“so that we may gain a wise heart.”

***

     Friends, the same grace and mercy the Lord shows to Moses God offers to us. Because of Jesus’ life given for our sakes, God sees us as faithful. The same promise of everlasting presence the Lord makes to Moses, Jesus makes to us. “I am with you always,” the risen Christ says in Matthew 28:20, “until the end of the age.”

     Knowing that I only had about a week to spend with my parents in Florida this visit, I could not help but count the days, all the while praying that I would be doing what the Lord wanted me to do. This is what I think Moses meant when he prayed that they would gain a “wise heart,” for true “wisdom” comes only from God and “fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” as Proverbs 9:10 and Psalm 111:10 assure us.

    As I traveled back from Florida, I heard of the shootings at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, South Carolina. A 21-year-old man opened fire on a Bible study. Among the 9 who died was the pastor, the Rev. Clementa Pinckney, a state senator who had welcomed the young man, a stranger, into the Bible class. The young man had targeted the church simply because it was an historically black church, the oldest AME congregation in the south. My heart broke at the senseless loss of life. I thought about how the people had no idea that morning when they got up that it would be their last day. And how the people were doing exactly what God calls us to do-- how they went to church that evening for worship, fellowship, prayer, and Bible study.  They spent their last moments being faithful to the call of Jesus Christ to take up their cross and follow Him.  

      Then, yesterday, I read how the victims’ families were reaching out to the perpetrator with forgiveness. How could they do such a thing? Then I realized that it was by the grace of God. For if they had not forgiven him, the hurt, bitterness and anger would tear them apart. Those who chose to forgive were numbering their days, choosing to walk with the Lord and serve Him, rather than waste a single day wallowing in self-pity or anger with God for allowing such a tragedy to happen.

      Counting our days, sisters and brothers, means making every day count—not growing lazy and deciding that today, we don’t need to pray or worship or read the Bible -- or love and forgive our neighbors. Counting our days means not spending them doing things that seem “good” to us--just filling up our days with activities that aren’t really God’s will for us. It means not being negative or complaining about things we cannot change, things that only God can understand and control. It means being faithful to seek Him and trust Him to lead us every step of the way. It means accepting our human limitations, like Moses, and receiving God’s grace, more and more, day by day. We are like grass, that fades and withers in the evening, but with God’s mercies, is renewed and flourishes in the morning. Every day we have another chance to begin again! To forgive ourselves and others for the mistakes of “yesterday,” for, as Psalm 90 assures us, a thousand years in God’s sight are like “yesterday when it is past.” Like Moses, I pray that I would learn to be content, because we aren’t always content—are we? When our loved ones suffer, and we are not able to help them. When we are struggling with our own health challenges or other problems. When our troubles mount up and threaten to overwhelm us, like the waves of the ocean. I pray that the Lord would fill me up with His Spirit, so that I am “satisfied” in the morning with His steadfast love and so that I would “rejoice and be glad all of my days.” I pray the Lord will help me see that my requests shouldn’t be, “Please, Lord, change my life,” but instead that God’s desires become my own, saying, “Please, Lord, change my heart. Change me!”

Will you join me in prayer?

Holy One, we thank you for your love, mercy and grace, shown to us through the sacrifice of your Son – so that we might be forgiven for all our sins—and enjoy new,  abundant, and eternal life with you.  Heal us, Lord, of our hurts. Make us whole. Thank you for being our dwelling place in all generations and for being so patient with us. Teach us to count our days and see each one for what it truly is---a precious gift from you. Grant us your wisdom. Help us to find contentment and joy in You and accept the good life you have planned for us. Lead us to be more faithful. Humble us, Lord, when we are tempted to be selfish. Stir us to trust that you are in control and will use all things for our good and your glory. May your Spirit change us, more and more, into the image of your Son, so that we want only your desires and to be pleasing to you. In Christ we pray. Amen.