https://www.box.com/s/hrodp8007gmlde6rfr0u
Meditation on
John 21:1-19
April 14, 2013
***
After these things Jesus showed himself again to the
disciples by the Sea of Tiberias; and he showed himself in this way. Gathered
there together were Simon Peter, Thomas called the Twin, Nathanael of Cana in
Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two others of his disciples. Simon Peter said
to them, ‘I am going fishing.’ They said to him, ‘We will go with you.’ They
went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing.
Just after daybreak, Jesus stood on the beach; but the disciples did not
know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to them, ‘Children, you have no fish, have
you?’ They answered him, ‘No.’ He said to them, ‘Cast the net to the right side
of the boat, and you will find some.’ So they cast it, and now they were not
able to haul it in because there were so many fish. That disciple whom Jesus
loved said to Peter, ‘It is the Lord!’
When
Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on some clothes, for he was naked,
and jumped into the lake. But the other disciples came in the boat, dragging
the net full of fish, for they were not far from the land, only about a hundred
yards off.
When they had gone ashore, they saw a charcoal fire there, with fish on
it, and bread. Jesus said to them, ‘Bring some of the fish that you have just
caught.’
So
Simon Peter went aboard and hauled the net ashore, full of large fish, a
hundred and fifty-three of them; and though there were so many, the net was not
torn. Jesus said to them, ‘Come and have breakfast.’ Now none of the disciples
dared to ask him, ‘Who are you?’ because they knew it was the Lord.
Jesus
came and took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish.
This was now the third time that Jesus appeared to the disciples after he was
raised from the dead.
When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon son
of John, do you love me more than these?’ Peter said to him, ‘Yes, Lord; you
know that I love you.’
Jesus said, ‘Feed my lambs.’
A
second time Jesus said to him, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ Peter said,
‘Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.’
Jesus
said to him, ‘Tend my sheep.’
He
said to him the third time, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ And Peter felt
hurt because he said to him the third time, ‘Do you love me?’ Peter said,
‘Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.’
Jesus said to him, ‘Feed my sheep. Very truly, I tell you, when you were
younger, you used to fasten your own belt and to go wherever you wished. But
when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will
fasten a belt around you and take you where you do not wish to go.’ (He said
this to indicate the kind of death by which he would glorify God.) After this
he said to him, ‘Follow me.’ (John 21:1-19)
***
Eight years ago, I was in a very different place in my life. I had three teenagers still living at home. I was a religion writer for a daily
newspaper. And I was engaged to a Presbyterian minister.
More and more, I felt that God wanted me to do be doing something other
than working as a journalist, but I didn’t know what. I still loved writing and felt my work was a
ministry. Telling the stories of the
faithful and God’s work in our world was something I enjoyed and was good
at. I was comfortable with it, but at
the same time, I knew God was moving me in a new direction.
I shared this with my husband-to-be and we discussed my desire to take
some courses in seminary in Bible, religion, and Christian history. Jim
encouraged me. He assured me that I had other talents besides writing, but I
wasn’t ready to hear talk about my “pastoral gifts.”
I was sure I was not going to be a pastor. First of
all, I wasn’t like any of the pastors I knew. The ministers I knew were mostly older
men with booming voices and serious expressions.
Secondly, I was sure I wasn’t going to be a pastor because the thought
of it scared me to death! I had seen churches embroiled in conflict, angry with
their pastors and one another. I had
seen churches leave their denominations because they didn’t agree on the
interpretation of scripture and who should be ordained. I had seen churches
split apart over the purchase of a new hymnal, installing air conditioning, or
paving a parking lot.
Thirdly, I was sure I was not going to be a
pastor because I wasn’t good enough. I hadn’t always been faithful to the Lord.
There were times in my life when I went my own way and made plenty of mistakes.
I didn’t always love the Lord more than anyone or anything.
Why would God be calling such a person to lead a church?
It was a preposterous idea.
***
And then we read about Simon Peter in the
gospel of John. After Jesus is crucified, Peter and the other disciples are
left to grieve and try to make sense of what happened. They attempt to go back
to their old lives, but nothing is the same after what they experienced as
Christ’s disciples.
One night, Peter and the others decide to go fishing on the Sea of
Tiberius. They are discouraged when the night passes and they catch
nothing. Then a man on shore advises
them to cast their nets again, this time on the right side of the boat. Soon their net is teeming with so many large
fish, 153 to be exact, that the disciples cannot haul the net into the boat.
When Peter realizes the risen Lord has come back and blessed them with
another miracle, he is so excited that he dives into the water and swims 100
yards to the shore. He could have stayed
in the boat and come to Jesus with the others, but Peter is the passionate,
impulsive one. He is the one who once tried and failed to walk on water when he
saw Jesus walking on water toward them in their boat. Peter is the one who declared
his love and loyalty, but when Jesus was arrested, he denied him 3 times before
the cock crowed. Just as Jesus said he would.
Though Christ doesn’t bring up the subject, Peter’s betrayal of the Lord
is on the disciple’s mind when Jesus eats with him and talks to him on the
shore.
Jesus asks Peter 3 times if he loves Him, and Peter grows more agitated every
time the question is asked. Finally, Peter says, “Lord, you know everything! You
know that I love you.”
And each time Peter professes his love, Jesus answers, “Feed my lambs.”
“Tend my sheep.” “Feed my sheep.”
Peter is obsessing on the question of love, and failing to hear that Jesus
isn’t really questioning his love. He is
trying to tell him what he wants him to do now with his life. He doesn’t want Peter to go back to the life he
led before he met Jesus. He is trying to
tell him, “You’re not a fisherman anymore!”
He is saying, IF YOU LOVE ME, then you will do what I ask. IF YOU
LOVE ME, you will have faith that I will guide and empower you.
Peter, the passionate, impulsive, fearful
disciple who denied the Lord 3 times is the one whom the Good Shepherd chooses
to be the leader of His Church—to feed and tend Christ’s lambs.
But Peter is stuck in the guilt of his sin.
The Lord is telling him that it
doesn’t matter what happened before. Your sin doesn’t matter! What matters is
that you love me now and do what I ask you to do.
Peter will be able to pick up His
cross and follow Christ, with the Lord’s help! He will have the courage to die
the same kind of humiliating death that Christ died for the sins of the world.
Jesus is talking about crucifixion when he says, “But when you grow old,
you will stretch our your hands, and someone else will fasten a belt around you
and take you where you do not wish to go.”
Peter will come to understand, accept, and preach God’s forgiveness through
faith in Jesus Christ. This knowledge
will release Him to walk confidently in God’s will for His life—to share Christ
with the world, tend His lambs, and feed His sheep.
***
Friends, you know my story. Here
I am. I never expected God to call me to
be a pastor because I was stuck in the guilt of my sin.
I hadn’t always been faithful to seek His Will. And I didn’t always obey—not if He asked me
to do something I was afraid to do. Or didn't want to do.
I didn’t always love Him more than anyone and anything.
But one day, because I am one of his sheep, I heard his voice. I felt
that He was saying to me, “If you love me, you will do this…”
And I felt myself answering, “Yes, Lord, I love you. I will obey.”
I was afraid, but I trusted that He who was
calling me to serve would give me what I needed to do His Will. I knew He would
help me!
And He will continue to help us, my friends, when we seek to do His Will
together. If we love Him, we won’t let
fear or sin hold us back! When Jesus died and rose again, our sins and guilt were
taken away!
God can and will continue to use us to build His kingdom, to reach the
world for Christ, if we love Him…
We are His sheep! We will
hear His voice!
We will obey.
If we
love Him….
Let us pray.
Good
Shepherd, thank you for calling us to be your sheep and for feeding and caring
for us each day. Thank you, Lord, that
we can hear your loving voice and that you want to use us all, despite all our
flaws and weaknesses, to build your righteous kingdom. Thank you for forgiving us for our sins—for
every time we haven’t been faithful to you, or have been too afraid to obey,
and haven’t loved you more than anyone and anything. Thank you for your Spirit that guides us and
gives us all that we need to do Your will.
Open our hearts, renew our minds, and build up our faith, Lord, so that
we may love you more and walk confidently and obediently each day. In Christ we pray. Amen.
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